What is a speed bag?
Whoa Nelly Furtado! Lemme explain something abou this here blog post. It’s satirical and therefore could easily be misunderstood by unknowing, dim-witted readers such as yourself those other guys. Anyway, urban dictionary does a great send up on the term, speed bag.
First thing to note are the various spellings labeling that thing we love to beat around all the time.
“NO! Not that thing, that thing. ”
Urban Dictionary lists these spellings: speed bag, speedbag, speed-bag, speed-bagging, speed bagging. There are as many definitions as there are deviations in the spelling. I used the word “deviations” because this whole blog post is about to deviate. Once you read the various definitions and how the world has perverted the meaning of our precious pastime you’ll see what I mean.
one take:
To slap one’s testicles across another individual’s face (esp. forehead). Similar to tea bagging, however in this case the sack is not rested on the deponent, but rather used as an instrument of assault.Speed bagging is often done to humiliate and/or shame the person upon which it is inflicted. It is also valuable for its humorous quality.
“I thought I was going to be down there all day, so I hit it like a speed bag and went straight to bed.”
