Speed Bag Videos » No Skills

What is a speed bag?

admin — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 05:38:39 +0000

Whoa Nelly Furtado! Lemme explain something abou this here blog post. It’s satirical and therefore could easily be misunderstood by unknowing, dim-witted readers such as yourself those other guys. Anyway, urban dictionary does a great send up on the term, speed bag.

First thing to note are the various spellings labeling that thing we love to beat around all the time.

“NO! Not that thing, that thing. ”

Urban Dictionary lists these spellings: speed bag, speedbag, speed-bag, speed-bagging, speed bagging. There are as many definitions as there are deviations in the spelling. I used the word “deviations” because this whole blog post is about to deviate. Once you read the various definitions and how the world has perverted the meaning of our precious pastime you’ll see what I mean.

one take:
To slap one’s testicles across another individual’s face (esp. forehead). Similar to tea bagging, however in this case the sack is not rested on the deponent, but rather used as an instrument of assault.

Speed bagging is often done to humiliate and/or shame the person upon which it is inflicted. It is also valuable for its humorous quality.

It starts rolling downhill from there pretty quickly, immediately. The definitions which follow are equally crass and rude. This is a very sexist terms and using it requires one to dispense of any decency. (It also requires one to look over their shoulder before saying it lest your girlfriend or whatever start to speed bag your head with her fists instead of you speedbagging her head with your meat-clackers.

Here’s my favorite context-quote from the bunch:

“I thought I was going to be down there all day, so I hit it like a speed bag and went straight to bed.”

Nice.

Speed bag nuts shot

admin — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 05:08:05 +0000

Actually, a double-ended bag is responsible for the laughs at the end of this gag. Sometimes you feel like a nut. SOMETIMES YOU DON’T!!!

Protect ya neck sack.

Speed Bag Fail Fail!

admin — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 13:28:58 +0000

Check out this craptaculous YouTube speed bag video. I’m not exactly what goes on in the other 35 chambers of that dungeon but dude needs to relax.

He’s dropping his hands. His punching paths are lazy. He grunts like he’s digging into a good session — weak. Finally before home skillet stomps off-camera he tries his hand at trapping. It’s comedic tragedy.

It’s not so much that dude is lame because I can tell he’s been putting in work on the bag. But he just comes off like day-old-douche-juice. I don’t know his name. I wouldn’t say it if I did. When he stops whining and wants to bang the bag for real I will consider reinstating his Manhood Credentials.™